I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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