Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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