I wanna bring you to show and tell
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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