i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
