porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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