He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
