New low: just hacked my moms facebook
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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