this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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