Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
should my penis look like a turkey
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
