I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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