I could have mohawked her pubes.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
