I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
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