I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
