This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Randomize
