Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
