Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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