Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
