You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Randomize