iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
My bed smells like the plague
My vagina is very pro this idea
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
