To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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