ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
