I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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