best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
