was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize
