I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
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some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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