I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
