I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
