you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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