do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
