Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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