Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
