Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Randomize
