So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize