I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
