let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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