I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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