Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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