doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
