You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
