I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
