when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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