The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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