I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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