We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
