Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
