Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
