The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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