Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
