i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
