i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
