and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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