My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
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