It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
NoShamevember. You game?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize