in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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