is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
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