This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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