I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
