help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I have demons in me.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
