can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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