Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
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I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
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Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
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