Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
