You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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